Dear mr./ms. squirrel inside the walls of my house,

Hi, this is Ed, a resident inside the house that you're rooming in. Just curious: why do you feel the need to pick our house over all the other houses on Avondale ave? I mean, what's so fucking special about our's? What could you possibly doing at 1 in the morning in the walls that wakes me up? It sounds like you're just scratching the walls, and if so, what are you trying to accomplish? You're not getting in.

Look, I understand you're probably freezing outside with this weather. I know how cold it gets. For this, I feel bad. It's not like I want to freeze to death. But seriously, why do you have to be so fucking loud? You get my stepfather very angry and then, in turn, he makes me angry. Then, on top of that, you're keeping me awake every night.

Maybe we can work something out. I don't know, maybe we can take turns in the house. It seems like it could work; you would get a warm, comfortable bed every other night of the week, and I could get out of the house often enough to be able to not think of the people I live with. Still though, I don't know what to do about the food situation. We don't really have anything to eat, and even if we did, I don't know if you'd like it.

The only reason why I'm being so reasonable about this is I understand where you're coming from. If I didn't have a place to stay in the winter, I could probably live in someone's walls too. However, I don't mean to sound intruding, but how can you get comfortable in there? I mean, it's a fucking wall for christ sake. I can't imagine it would be that much warmer.

Anyway, If you could write me back or something, maybe we can work this out. You can call me anytime- I'll be awake. Let's not turn this into a big deal.

Your's,
The kid upstairs